R3P2VLCD21 – 166.5

Weight: 166.5

I thought I was prepared yesterday, which I mostly was, but not prepared enough.  Which is why I'm up a pound, but I'm not concerned, it will go away again.

I packed my lunch to take with me while I ran errands yesterday, as I figured I would be on the other side of town when I got hungry, and still had errands to complete.  Which I was.  So, I ate my tuna salad in the car, and it was wonderful.

But I only had packed my 1/2 grapefruit for a snack.  That is a messy snack, one that is not easily edible while driving and I didn't take the time to stop to eat it.  That was the mistake, because I got too hungry, so when I got home I chowed down.  Not only did I eat my grapefruit, I went for the cereal again, like I did yesterday when my blood sugar dropped.   Fear and hunger are powerful motivators and not easily reasoned with.

What did I learn on this journey?  I am now figuring out what that feels like to be truly full.  I assume most people normal weight people feel this way when they eat and they stop eating right away when they feel full.  That may sound strange, so let me explain.

When I'm eating something that tastes really good, I often have kept eating, even if I'm not really hungry; it just tastes good and I keep picking at it.  It's mindless.  I don't recall ever feeling this absolute feeling of "please stop putting food into me, I don't want it" , but I did yesterday.  Oh, sure, I've had that "I'm stuffed" feeling from Thanksgivings past where I ate too much.  But my stomach expanded to accommodate what I ate and was full.  This time, it didn't expand, it felt like a container of a specific size which was not to be over filled, not going to expand.  I've experienced the after effects we usually call "your stomach shrank" of not being able to eat as much as you used to after a diet before, but this was not the same feeling.  It's hard to explain.

I did eat more than I needed to yesterday during this awareness awakening, which was part of the awakening.  I hope to continue building this mindfulness ability in all areas of my life.