R6P2VLCD4–166.5

Down another pound. Have a headache again this morning, but it'll go away once the coffee gets brewed!
Have a great day, everyone.

R6P2VLCD3–167.5

 

Down 2.5 today!  Woo Hoo!

R6P2VLCD2 - 170

Weight:  170

Unbelievable.  That’s my reaction to the number  on the scale.

In my defense, I’ve been in the high 160’s over the last 2-3 weeks.  I just came back from a quilting conference that would include restaurant food, and family reunion at the end of the week where I new there would be a TON of food.  So, I waited to do this round so I wouldn’t have to fight that kind of temptation and set myself up for defeat.  Instead, I used it as my loading weekend, and I’m starting my 6th round.

I didn’t have access to a scale but once, but without the consistency of using the same scale, I can only guess that I’ve lost 2 pounds from loading.  I’ll take it!

I looked back at my records, and I’m at the same weight I was in March.  That would be discouraging if the information was taken at face value, but I’ve had a couple of conversations recently about the weight gain I’ve experienced over the summer, which have been enlightening.

The initial gains occurred 2-3 pounds at a time, and not with intention, but circumstantially (not knowing food contents at a birthday party; poor planning for a shopping trip) but when the weight didn’t come off after that, I started mentally slipping.  I’m still working through that, but the main idea that surfaced was old beliefs…that I’m not worthy of this.

Fill in the blank to what “this” is, but the feeling of not being good enough is nothing new.  No matter where these beliefs or feelings came from, this is now my main enemy, not food.

I hesitated to use the word enemy, but upon reflection, that’s really an apt description.  One definition of enemy is “a hostile state”.  That belief works against me, doesn’t support any personal growth or peace of mind.  It is my enemy and I will not avoid it, I will confront it, and I will conquer it.

I deserve freedom from this feeling, this old, inaccurate, belief.

August 2011 - Maintenance Update

I am 9 pounds over LIW from round 5, and not only can I feel the difference in my body, because I’ve regained it in my tummy, my head says "you're fat". Well, I know I'm not exactly fat, just my tummy is, and that does not make me fat!

I have been able to get in 1-2 workouts on the elliptical a week over the past month or so, and I’m working on getting to my goal of 3 per week.  Eventually I want to add in Pilates, too, because even at the lower weight I could tell my stomach muscles are shaped outward, from when I was powerlifting.  I need those muscles to work at supporting my back and internal organs, like they are meant to.

I found early on that I need to track my calories, but I detest doing it.  I really want to be able to eat with a sense of what I should have to fuel my body, with maybe an occasional treat, so have really resisted that step.  I need to re-train my brain to see it as a helpful tool, not a leash.

Round 5 Summary

LIW:  151

I got super busy and didn’t follow through with my blog on Round 5, so here it is:

My Last Injection Weight was 151!  I maintained at 153 in P3 for 1 1/2 – 2 weeks until a birthday party came up.  I decided I was probably close enough to getting to adding in carbs to try some of the BBQ burger (no bun), veggies and watermelon, as well as the red velvet birthday cake and ice cream.

What was I thinking?!?!?!?

After I had eaten the burger I found out that it was laced with BBQ sauce, you know, where it was mixed into the raw meat before cooking.  There’s so much sugar in commercial BBQ sauce!

So, I gained 4 pounds from that day, only to lose 1 of them by the end of that week.  I maintained at 156 for 2 weeks, then ate at a restaurant.  Trying to eat well, I had 1/2 sandwich and some jambalaya soup.  Gained 2 more pounds, and without being able to lose any of that by protein days, extra water, or exercise, that put me at a solid 158.

Another event, which I don’t remember right off the top of my head, has had me between 159 – 160 for the past 2 weeks.

So very discouraging, on the one hand, that it seems to be creeping so insidiously back.  However, I’m determined that this will not be my life, I am not going back to the weight or mindset I came from.   I am in charge of my health, my weight, and my life.

I can say that, being 50 pounds lighter than I was, I have much more energy, I feel like my old self, and have been able to accomplish so much more than I have in the past 5 years.  I will take all necessary measures to protect that asset!

Right now I am giving my body a rest from the diet.  I did 5 rounds over the course of a year, and it’s needed.  I’m observing how my body is responding  to “normal” food and activities.  Ultimately, it’s up to me to maintain whatever loss I achieve, and I want to make sure it’s a realistic goal.

I’ve been looking at my schedule, and will consult my doctor, to confirm when I think is a good time for another round, hopefully my last one (I’ve said that before).  I’m seriously considering October, after I come back from a quilting conference, but we’ll have to see what life brings.

R5VLCD5 - 157

Weight: 157

I’m officially past my LIW!

I’m really pleased, too, because I’m at the beginning of this round and I have my sights on the 140’s!

I’ve really not been hungry, either, although today we worked in the yard and the landscaper came by to rototill the garden at 11.  I ate lunch at 10:30 because I knew I wanted to start planting right away, as it’s supposed to rain tomorrow, possibly even tonight.

With such an early meal, I saved my lunch for a snack, only to find that I only had apples and oranges at my disposal.  In the first round, I discovered that oranges make me stall; either that, or I was already eating too much.  Well, I decided to try it, and ate a small orange at 1pm, as I wanted to save my apple for my late evening snack.

I was really proud of myself when, at 3pm, I was needing another snack and water wasn’t working; I heated up some asparagus, added seasonings, and had a very healthy snack.  I didn’t even consider anything off protocol!

I’m pretty tired tonight, though, so I’ll have to wait for the outcome.  It’s supposed to be rainy and windy tomorrow, and I plan to work on the computer and quilt.

R4–R5: Resuming From Planned Interruption

Weight: 161

On April 16th, I hit 157.5, but my lowest was 154.5.  I’ll have to look up when that was, because, weirdly, I didn’t blab that to the world!

I suspended that long 4th round, because I found that after day 27 I was cheating quite a bit, and did that for 2 weeks!   I couldn't justify the expense of the shots to keep cheating without making progress, and obviously my head wasn’t into it, so I decided to take a planned 2 week interruption.

In Pounds and Inches, they describe a planned interruption as “resuming” where you left off, but since I’d done a long round, I’m not sure that actually applies.  Not only that, I’m concerned that if I resumed for only the 8 days of hCG that I have left, that I wouldn’t be able to stabilize, nor would I lose the amount I want to.  I contacted my doctor, and he issued a prescription for another 15 days, to add to my remaining supply, and I’ll do a short round, ending in time to have burgers, sans bun, for Memorial Day weekend!

I'm not re-loading, but going to take 2 days of shots and start VLCD on Monday.  I'm not sure that is exactly protocol for a planned interruption, I think I've seen it referred to as cycling.

I’m taking measurements today…so, we'll see what happens!