Weight: 169
I was a little relieved to see 169 this morning, partly because I'm still really full and I have that association with my weight being up. After seeing 171 on the scale yesterday, I realized that I quickly embraced this lower weight range; the number seven is not one that I want to see in my weight!
Also, I think that I'm having a little bit of a hard time accepting success. I don't know about you, but when someone exclaims that I am "skinny", my first response is to deny it. Part of that has to do with knowing where the fat is on my body that they're not looking at, but also my belief that "skinny" isn't exactly healthy.
Then, too, being a big person has been such an integrated part of my identity. Even as a thin child, I was taller and bigger than everyone else, and by comparison I felt "big as a cow".
As a strong, young, adult, I eventually embraced being large. I have always had a hard time associating smallness with strength, even though ants have the highest strength ratio. I have to keep in mind there are different types of strength, and physical strength is only one of those.
The cool thing is, I can change, I have changed, and I will continue to work on this concept.
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