Last Round Summary - 153

Well, I’ve been busy with my husband’s surgery and the holidays and just neglected to write anything about the last days of the diet.  Suffice it to say that I wasn’t perfect, and I didn’t ever get below 151 pounds, which I’m OK with if I don’t gain it back!  My goal for a max weight is 155 because I don’t feel good at more than that.

Now I’m in P3, the carb-only phase, for the next 3 weeks.  Make that the next 2 weeks, since this week has already gone by!

This past week I’ve fluctuated a bit, back and forth between 153 and 155.  Part of the fluctuation can be attributed to eating some carbs when I’m not supposed to, but it really depends on what type of carbs they are.  Fruit, specifically oranges and apples, have been OK, but brownies are not.  Hmm, go figure, right? 

I’ve done protein days, with lots of water, when I’ve gotten to 155 and has worked to get me back to 153.  I also seem to be having problems eating blue cheese dressing, but that’s not terribly surprising with all of the food sensitivities I have.

It would have been nice to get into the high 140’s, but I was hungrier the last couple of weeks and ate more calories; maybe I not as determined as I needed to be to push through that.  It’s been a long journey and I’m tired of dieting.  I want to move to a more normal life of eating and exercising because it’s healthy for me to do so.  Now I feel good about myself and don’t have the extra stress on my body with all of that extra weight.  That doesn’t mean I don’t still have work to do, mentally, emotionally or physically, or can lower my guard.  These new habits and feelings of self worth are fragile and need reinforcement.

I still have fat on my belly, which I detest, and it’s still round.  Some of that comes from powerlifting, where I pushed against the belt and trained the muscles to have a concave shape, and some of it is hereditary.  I’m hoping that exercise, Pilates specifically, will help re-shape my abdomen so it doesn’t stick out so much.  I’m also hoping that my body will adjust and re-distribute some of the weight as time goes on, but I can’t imagine where else it would go!  I’ve got measurements to check against, so that will be interesting to see in the next 3, 6, 9 and 12 months.

One change I made on this last round is that I ate more calories at the end, and my weight pretty much stabilized in the low 150’s during that time.  I’m hoping that by doing this I will help my body stabilize at this weight permanently; it’s where I am now.  This approach is not what is prescribed in the protocol, though, so it will be interesting to see how this differs from the other rounds.

In total, I’ve lost 55 pounds since I started getting rid of the extra weight.  Sometimes more, sometimes less.  But in this Year of Eleven, my special year, I’m taking this as the start of something great.

R7P2VLCD27 – 152

No, I didn’t follow protocol yesterday.  More than likely, I won’t lose any more on this round.  I’m really ready to stop, all I keep seeing, everywhere I look, are CARBS!

And this started before my friend brought dinner over!

I decided yesterday, that I should return the pan to my friend with something in it, so I made brownies, with added chocolate chips.  Yes, I licked the bowl and ate some of the chips…and even included some peanut butter from the snack I’d made my hubby.

For our dinner, my hubby wanted to make oven baked chicken breasts.  He uses soy flour for the coating, so it’s low carb, but not protocol.  After I ate my fish and veggies, I decided I wanted one of those, too, so that was extra fat and protein; I removed the skin and the breading, of course, but it was pretty oily.

I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get into the 140’s.  I’m OK with that, as long as I stay in the low 150’s, and since I have experience with gaining back up to 155, I’m nervous.

I’m hoping my maintenance plan comes through for me!

R7P2VLCD26 – 152

I knew I’d be up, but I couldn’t resist. 

My friend texted me that she was bringing dinner over for us, as the neighborly thing to do since my hubby was recovering from surgery.  She brought beef stroganoff, apple crisp and yeast rolls.  I didn’t have any of the rolls, but I had plenty of everything else!

There was a lot of love in that food.

R7P2VLCD25 – 151

Finally back to my lowest weight!

All it took was following protocol…duh!

With everything that’s gone on, I’ve considered stopping early.  But then, I’ve only got a few days of injections left and I’m only a couple pounds away from being in the 140’s, which will give me the buffer zone I’ve been looking for.  I’ll have achieved my goal.

That’s sort of scary.  No excuses anymore. 

My body isn’t perfect, either.  I do not look like any of the Bond Girls.  There’s still fat there I wish wasn’t.  Maybe that will change shape, which is probably, or actually disappear, when I start working out, which I’m not counting on it.

But it’s all about me now, no covering up, nothing to protect me.

I think I’m OK with that.

R7P2VLCD24–151.5

Still up that same .5 again today.

Too much chocolate delight and not enough water, at the very least yesterday.  Hoping that being out this morning with my DH at his PT appointment will help restore a sense of normalcy and I can finish out this week strong.

R7P2VLCD23 – 151.5

Still up the same .5 that I gained on Saturday, from Friday's indulgences.

That's OK, though, because those Ritz crackers are still around, and I love them!  I also made another batch of chocolate delight, and it’s really good.  I ate way too much of that, too.  So, I compensated and didn’t eat any of my breads and skipped one fruit.  Not exactly the best nutritional exchange!

Funny thing, as I was writing this, I remembered yesterday feeling sort of "hung over" afterward eating the crackers, a very slight headache and dry mouth feeling.  I do not like my food to make me feel that way, so I take it back...I do NOT love Ritz crackers!

At least I didn't gain. And now Paul is feeling better so I think it will be much easier to relax this coming week and finish this round.

R7P2VLCD22 – 151.5

My hubby had rotator cuff repair surgery on Friday.

The surgery itself went well, but as the nerve block wore off he had a rough night. I got overly hungry getting his prescription on the way home, too, and ate his some of his Ritz crackers, then later on, trail mix.  No, I did not need the trail mix.  It was there.

So, neither of us got much sleep, in between the pain, the worry, and getting up every couple of hours to make sure he got his pain meds.

The damage?  Only up .5, which I’m very thankful for.  Usually, a cheat like this will add 2-3 pounds, and cause a week long stall.  Now, I’m hoping I didn’t create a stall!

The meds are helping and his pain is much less today.  I’ll still hover, worry and fuss until I can tell he really is OK, so I suppose that will mean little rest for me for a bit.  I’m just going to try to minimize the damage that all this stress does to my weight goal.

Thanks for the prayers, they are appreciated!

R7P2VLCD21 - 151

Down 1.5 today!

I was out with DH yesterday shopping for a recliner for after his shoulder surgery (he still thinks he won't need it, silly man!)

I had 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast (not exactly protocol) and took my celery with me for a snack while we were out shopping.  I and had that, but truly wasn't hungry, so didn't eat until dinner.  Had an 8 ounce sirloin steak (again, not exactly protocol, if you count the amount of protein), some veggies, an apple and my WASA cracker for dinner.

Taking my lunch with me so I have it in case I want it while I'm in the waiting room.

Focusing, focusing, focusing!

R7P2VLCD20–152.5

.5 up this morning, that's the damage from my stress-related cheating yesterday.

Hoping that is the only damage, not the long term "you can't lose it for a week" impact.  Can't worry about that now...

R7P2VLCD19 - 152

Still the same.

I was sorta bummed until I looked at the previous weeks postings on my calendar, and the week before that.  Even though I’m stalled at this weight for the past 4 days, I am still 1.5 pounds lighter than last week, and 3.5 pounds lighter than the week before that.

I really need to focus on staying on task, and not worrying about it.

R7P2VLCD18 - 152

Gained .5 from yesterday.

I totally thought I was on track, I was even a bit hungry in the afternoon, but entered my calories all at once in the evening, and I was really shocked that it was almost 800!

So, that pretty well explains it, huh? ;-)

R7P2VLCD17 – 151.5

Actually, I’m surprised I lost any today.

Yesterday, I went golfing with my DH in 23 degree weather.  I was totally frozen when we got back, and I had a brandy to warm up.  Not the smartest move, and not on protocol!  In hindsight, hot tea would’ve worked better.

So, would I have been down even further?  Will it have an impact on my overall loss?

We’ll see….

R7P2VLCD14–153.5

Same today, but also still sick.

I did, however, manage to avoid the Christmas party food yesterday.  Thought that would be the magic bullet, but no.

One thing to remember, is that I used to be at this weight for awhile, in November, and I think last June (when I was too busy to blog about the diet).

Like I told another member of my support group, this will pass.  I’m not doing an apple day.  I have a fundamental dislike of them, and I’m especially not going to do it when I’m sick.  Talk about feeling punished, when all you want is some nurturing!

Nope, I’ll continue to monitor my portions and keep going on protocol.  I have a ton of stuff to get done this weekend:  start a quilt, get a haircut, and celebrate my hubby’s birthday by going golfing in 30 degree weather.  Life’s good!

R7P2VLCD12–153.5

Down only .5, but at least it’s downward!

R7P2VLCD11 - 154

Glad to see more downward progress!

I had a doctor’s appointment last night (don’t you just love it when they coincide with you being sick?) and he said he thought the 1.5 pound loss was probably fluids due to my being sick.  That seems right, too, so just glad to be on track again.

My appointment last night centered around some body work that has to do with “weakness” as the main theme and it centers in that lower belly area.

That makes a lot of sense to me, because that’s where the fat is that I need to get rid of, and it’s being really stubborn this time.  In the Touch By Healing vernacular, it has to do with “powerlessness”.

Have you ever had a negative reaction to someone who is obviously trying to complement you by telling you that you are “skinny”?  My immediate reaction is “I am NOT skinny!”  That’s because “skinny” to me means “scrawny” and “scrawny” means “powerless”.

Interesting correlation, don’t you think?

R7P2VLCD11 – 155

Well, I didn’t expect to see 155 today!

I told my DH that I wouldn’t be surprised if I gained yesterday, since I seemed to have a lot of calories, and I have definitely been eating items that are not part of the protocol list while I’ve been sick.

But DANG!

Oh, well, I have almost 2 weeks left and I think it is probably water.  I am, after all, still sick!

R7P2VLCD10 – 153.5

Down 1.5 today.

I’m still sick, though, but at least I didn't have to take more than one dose of Tylenol yesterday.  This morning I’m coughing.  I didn’t make “the brew” yesterday, either, I didn’t have any lemons.

I’m glad I keep losing, the days are ticking away!

R7P2VLCD9 – 155

Well, I’m down .5 a pound today, and I don’t know why!

Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but I didn’t exactly eat on protocol again yesterday with this cold.

Mostly more protein, I had 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast, 5 ounces of chicken at lunch, an orange, which usually makes me stall, and, gasp!…I had a serving of Quaker oat squares.

I love those things.

Talk about carbs, though!

I was hungry 1 1/2 hours after eating my lunch, which is when I had the cereal.  Normally, I gain if I cheat with cereal, but here’s a difference….I ate it dry, not with any milk.  Of course, being sick, who wants milk??

I’m staying away from them today, even though I am still sick.  I am 10 pounds from goal, and I only have 2 weeks left to accomplish this.  I think I’ll make some “brew” today.  I’ll post the recipe if it works.

R7P2VLCD8–155.5

I haven’t posted for a couple of days because I got attacked with a sore throat on Thursday.  And I do mean “attacked”!  I started feeling it come on at 1:50pm and by 2:30pm I declared myself officially sick.

So, I don't know how, with being sick, taking medicines, and eating off protocol yesterday, but I lost a pound!

Today I’m going to try to stay more on track. My throat still hurts, I’ve got a stuffy nose, a headache, and I think it's trying to move into my chest. Is that officially the flu?

Someone in my support group posted a recipe she calls “The Brew” for things like this.  I may need to use the little energy I have this morning and make some.  I’ve got about 2 weeks left on this, my for-sure final round, and I really want to see the most success I can.

R7P2VLCD5 - 157

Down another pound today!

Only 3 pounds before LIW from before the planned interruption!  See, this is why I’ve been doing this so long…forgetting the lessons I’ve learned and then having to get rid of that weight again.

Truly learn those lessons early!

R7P2VLCD4 - 158

Down 2.5 pounds this morning!  Yay for me for not eating at the restaurant yesterday!

R7P2VLCD3–160.5

Down 2 pounds this morning, and I did really well today, too!

I went to a "going away" lunch at an Indian food buffet place for my supervisor who is moving on to a different position in the University, and....I DIDN'T EAT ANYTHING!!

I only had water...there wasn't so much as a veggie that I could have, and even if the one veggie that I saw would have been OK, I wasn't going to pay $9 for that kind of lunch! I went back to my desk and finished my tuna and salad, WASA cracker and strawberries.

Here's hoping my scale rewards me in the morning!

R7P2VLCD2–162.5

I’m down .5 today, which I thought was a bit disappointing, but I was a bit hungry yesterday and I ate extra protein and I probably didn’t have enough water.

Today’s shot is from the new prescription, and I’m determined to get more water!

We'll see what happens today.

R6P3D1–154.5

I’m up another .5 today for a 1 pound total increase.  Not surprising since I’ve been eating more than I should of things I shouldn't be eating yet.

Today is the first day of P3, so hoping I will just maintain here for the short break and start acting like I've tasted food before.

My upper legs are also itching, and I don’t know if it’s from a new lotion, scratching the hCG-induced dry skin, or from a food allergy.  I hope it’s not the lotion, I just got some great smelling stuff from The Body Shoppe!

R6 – 2nd VLCD No Shots - 154

Yesterday, I’d eaten half my lunch by 10am.  Doesn’t have a good ring to it, does it?

Ultimately, I did pretty well during the rest of the day, but I was really focused on food.  Everything that someone brought into the office and opened up, I was right there, looking to see what they had.  Yes, I can hear a sandwich wrapper revealing its contents 2 cubes away!

However, I was hungry by 4PM, and I had to stop at the grocery store to get some coconut oil to make Chocolate Delight on my way home from work.  I got 2 scoops of trail mix and I ended up eating what amounts to one scoop.  That’s a lot of calories!  I stayed up late last night, too.

Thankfully, all in all I’m only up .5 pounds this morning, and I’m still full.  I’m hoping today goes better, as I need to go to the mall (I’ll bring a snack with me) and the Broncos are playing TCU this afternoon.

Tomorrow morning, however, is 72 hours from my last injection, and my DH is taking me out for breakfast.  Steak and eggs, here I come!

R6P2VLCD26–153.5 (LIW)

Yay!  I’m only 2 pounds above my previous LIW!  Not bad for starting out higher and ending a day sooner!

I decided yesterday that I would hold my last shot to use with the next round.  My DH has asked me out to breakfast on Sunday, and if I don’t skip today, then I will be fudging on those days calories and diet menu.  I’ve been totally focused this round, have not cheated, and that didn’t seem right.

We’ve haven’t spent a lot of time together lately, and I decided that the one pound I might lose, compared with spending quality time with my husband, was worth stopping a day short.  He’s been my biggest supporter, and I love him so much.  Sometimes its those who are closest to us that get taken for granted the most.

I totally think the tradeoff is worth it!

R6P2VLCD25 - 154

The scale was playing with me today, showed me 153.5 a couple times, but I think my scale might need to be replaced!  It will show .5 on the second, and subsequent weighings, but if I lift it off the floor and put it back down, most of the time it gives the original reading again.

Oh, well, I’m keeping it for consistency.  Tomorrow will be my last injection, I’m really starting to want to eat more fat…peanut butter, here I come!

R6P2VLCD24–154.5

I’m down 1 pound from Monday.  I was up .5 yesterday.

I figure the .5 I was up yesterday has to do with going to bed late.  I haven’t gotten enough sleep the last couple nights (I also detest switching back to Standard time!), and I used a new body cream from The Body Shoppe for a couple days in a row.  Not sure if the cream is a factor, but my skin is very scaly right now, and starting to itch, so I had to use something!

I'm going to take a break after I run out of injections, probably another couple days.  My goal now is to maintain over the short break and pick up after Thanksgiving.

This has been the most focused I've been…I truly feel like I’m “going home”!

R6P2VLCD22 – 155

Down .5 today.  Sort of.  My scale only works in .5 increments, and the numbers bobbled back and forth, so I’ll take it.

I took the weekend off.  I didn’t plan to, but realized I needed it.  I went shopping with a friend and we ended up in The Body Shoppe.  Yes, I sampled the lotions, but I didn’t gain anything.  I doubt that caused a stall, but I’ve been at this weight for a few days.  My skin is so dry, it crackles, and the skin on my knuckles has been cracking, so I am OK with it all.

Yesterday, DH and I worked in the yard and my legs are sore.  I didn’t get enough water yesterday, either, but all in all, it was a very good weekend.

I think I’ve decided that I’m going to do a planned interruption for Thanksgiving, so I’ll use up the prescription I have this week, and whichever day that ends up being I’ll be happy with the loss.

R6P2VLCD21–155.5

Yay!

I tried on my skinny jeans yesterday, and they fit!  Comfortably!!

I got a TON of sleep yesterday, slept in until 8am!  This morning, I was up early to deal with the dog and I was up a pound.  So, I went back to bed, finally fell asleep, and when I got up and weighed again, I was back to 155.5 again.

I went shopping yesterday, including to one of my favorite stores, The Body Shoppe, and tried out a bunch of hand creams.  Also didn’t get my afternoon snack and was overly hungry for dinner, ended up having both fruits after dinner.

So, I’m really glad I at least just maintained  Whew!

I’m down to the last few injections on this bottle, and I’m trying to figure out if I should continue the round or take a break.  The losses have slowed, and I need to get another 12 pounds or so off.  If I take a break I can at least do the low carb thing for Thanksgiving dinner.  If I power through, I might not reach my goal.  Or, I might.  I’m totally focused this round and I’d just as soon get it done.

Guess I’ll have to see how it goes this week and make a decision in the next few days.

R6P2VLCD19 –157

Another .5 down.

Either the loss is simply slowing, or I need to be more diligent about my portions!  Maybe a combination of both.  Either way, as my DH says, getting rid of .5 until Thanksgiving will certainly add up, and I’d be in the 140’s by then…and that’s where I want to be!

R6P2VLCD18 – 157.5

Down another pound!

Entered my weight into MyFitnessPal and got the nice feedback that, from my starting weight last year, I've lost 50 pounds!

Now, if I only hadn't gained back XX number of pounds along the journey!  Ha!  Still have about 10-15 more to go.

R6P2VLCD14 - 160

Same weight today.

Not too surprising, I didn’t drink quite enough water yesterday, I never do when I’m home because I’m always busy!

I’ve also stayed at this weight for awhile in the past, so that might be part of it.  I’m still amazed, though, that I’ve lost 10 pounds in the last 13 days.  That does include loading weight, but still, I was in that range before my trip.

My goal is to maintain at 145, so I still have 15 more pounds to go, plus a couple of wiggle room pounds.

I can do it!

R6P2VLCD13 - 160

Down a pound today!

I haven’t had grapefruit in the last 2 days, and I’m wondering if that has anything to do with my faster results.  I can’t eat oranges, as they make me stall, but I’ve never had problems with grapefruit before.  Maybe it has to do with the season?  Or the type we’ve been getting?

I also slept in this morning, and after my second weigh-in, I was down another .5 pounds, but I won’t log that as official until tomorrow.  No point in being disappointed.

Either way, I’m loving this!

R6P2VLCD12 - 161

Down a pound today!

With the slow .5 losses this week I've "only" lost 4.5 pounds since last Friday, but my DH told me last night that I look smaller.  What a guy!

R6P2VLCD11 - 162

Down .5 and having to readjust my mental time line with the slowdown.

I'm just impatient is all.  Been freezing cold, too, some of which is the weather, but this has happened to me before, so I think it's the hCG.

Round 6….Really??

I was asked this morning about my experience, since I’ve been on the hCG diet for as many rounds as I have.

Yep, round 6 for me.  I have had to re-lose weight a few times, which is most of the reason for so many rounds.  I don't blame the diet or its mechanisms, it’s been the most effective at weight loss, and making the mental changes I’ve needed, oh, so badly needed, to make.

What I've found is that some of the reason for the weight gain has to do with low thyroid, food allergies based on that disease and carb intolerance.  I love the foods I’m allergic to, and I love carbs!  I’m getting better at managing both of those, but still, when did a piece of toast become a crime!?!  And then there’s the mental part.  Oh, boy, they don’t tell you that on this diet you end up dealing with your demons!

I started at 207.5 and I’m currently at 162.5, so I’ve lost 45 pounds.  The last round, my LIW was 151, so I’d lost 57 pounds, and my goal now is to get to a total of 60-65 pounds.  I think that’s realistic now that I’ve seen my body at those lower weights.  I detest the word “skinny” because it has connotations for me that mean “scrawny” and “powerless”, so I have to work on that because friends and associates will use that word liberally and I’ll go into a tailspin, mentally, which tends to lead to unhealthy choices.

I started hCG at the suggestion of my doctor, and I used a hormone cream preparation.  I “only” lost .5 pounds per day on the cream on my first round, which was a long, 40 day, round, for a total loss of 22 pounds.  I’ve had the best luck with injections and typically lose a pound a day with them.  I’ve never used homeopathic drops.

The mental part is the hardest when it comes to breaking habits.  All dieters have experience with eating smaller portions, or not eating certain foods, that’s fairly easy.  We must be especially conscious, though, not to taste as we cook, to snack as we watch TV, etc, and be especially mindful of ourselves and our habits, and it’s uncomfortable.  During those times, we have to find something else to do, and we realize that our minds aren’t quiet.  We start looking at the “why” of our habits, our feelings, our thoughts….and that’s when the “supporting” change takes place.  If you don’t change your habits, your mindset, then yes, you’ll gain the weight back.  That’s just life.

Another interesting aspect, something I didn’t expect, was that I had to mentally adjust with what I was beginning to look like.  My mental image of myself had to “catch up” with my physical self.  Those breaks in between rounds definitely helps that adjustment.

The difficulty increases when considering the concept of 500 calories, even if you aren’t hungry.  We frequently hear, or even think to ourselves, “How can you only eat 500 calories?  That can’t be healthy?”

The social aspect is equally difficult, because our society is centered around food in celebrations and nurturing.  Not just avoiding food at parties, which is hard enough, but feeling left out when everyone else is enjoying the spread.

Oh, then let’s not forget about “life happens”.  Divorce, babies joining our families, travel for work or pleasure, stressful days on the job.  These situations give us a one-two punch because we need comfort, not discipline, and this diet challenges both.

The reward is ethereal, especially at first.  It’s especially difficult to conceptualize when first starting on this journey because, frankly, NO, getting into a smaller sized pair of jeans doesn’t compare to that in-the-moment discretion.  The reward of smaller jeans just doesn’t even seem real, or realistic, in that moment.  It’s hard to change habits, it’s hard to fight social or family pressure, it’s hard to turn one’s life around when so many failures are there staring you in the face, proving that your situation is hopeless, and you aren’t sure about this crazy diet anyway.

I’ve always said that I don’t diet because “dieting” means that you go “off the diet” at some point, which means you probably will go back to your old habits and re-gain the weight.  That’s not healthy either!  But this is a diet, and if you don’t make the mental change, then you’re going to have problems afterwards.  One great side effect, though, is that your body changes, your taste buds change, and you don’t want the junk that once tasted good.  Yes, you can re-acquire the taste, but that goes back to mindlessness.

Can you slip?  Absolutely.  New habits are difficult to establish and maintain.  Do you keep trying?  I hope so.  I have, and I can tell you that, just before this 6th round I made a new discovery, an old belief, that I’ve based my life on, one that absolutely needs changing because it is fundamentally wrong, unsound, unproductive and, frankly, harmful to my sense of self.  No amount of exercise and “sensible eating” has been as powerful or effective at getting these types of issues to surface.  It’s up to me to deal with them.

VLCD 10 - 162.5

No loss for today.  Bleh.

However, when I look at my midriff in the mirror, I’m starting to see definition.  I didn’t take my initial measurements this round because I’ve gotten them at this weight previously, but now I’m almost wishing I had so I could see the changes when the scale doesn’t move.

I’ve not cheated, but I’m planning to get one of those rubber wrist bracelets so I can snap myself should I be tempted on the weekends.  Hoping to find one today.

R6P2VLCD8 - 163

Dropped “only” .5, which I rather expected.

I didn't drink enough water yesterday, just lemonade, and even so, not enough liquid.  Hoping this is just a one day thing!  I'm anxious to get the next 10 off!

R6P2VLCD7–163.5

I am so pleased that I’m getting rid of this weight so quickly!

I can tell you, it was literally, and mentally, weighing me down.  My clothes have started getting tight, and I’ve been changing my top 3 times in a morning to try to find something that I felt looked presentable.  That’s the problem once you start getting rid of your former sizes!  Except, really, I still have some of those larger sizes, and they don’t look good, either.

I’ve also noticed that my back has been bothering me more.  That makes total sense, because the weight came back in my belly, which was the last place I took it off.  I really need to focus on tightening my core, so I can keep my back healthy, and continue to do the things I love to do.

Even though my body is physically changing, the real change is mental, and that’s one aspect of hCG that people don’t talk about as much as the amazing rate of weight loss.  I realized recently that some of the behaviors that lead to the regain have everything to do with internal beliefs, some of which were never correct in the first place.  Getting back on the diet allows me to see fast results so I’m healthier, and I can focus my energy on the underlying issues in my life.

So, just like the piles of paper I have to clean up on my desk, I need to do a mental sweep as well.  That’s harder than the paper piles!  All kidding aside, it’s just as necessary, and I will be investigating some options to help with that.  I’m very interested in hypnosis, and I think that may be one tool that I can use to “reset” those beliefs.

R6P2VLCD6–164.5

Down another pound!

That's a pound a day this first week of VLCD for a total of 6 pounds this week!  I didn’t have my own scale to start this process, but I think I gained about 4 pounds during the load days.  My aunt’s scale put me at 172, so that would be an even larger loss!

One of my BMI calculators says I'm now just barely overweight...and I can't wait to be back where I'm feeling healthier again!

R6P2VLCD5–165.5

Down another pound!

So pleased, but still feeling fat because I'm re-losing weight that I’ve only recently put back on, and I know the difference in how my body feels at the lower weight. 

It's amazing how my tolerance has changed.  Tolerance, that is, for the difference in how I feel now versus when I was 40 pounds heavier.  I didn’t notice so much then, or maybe I just felt helpless and had given up.  Now I’m paying much more attention to how my body feels.   Emotions and my state of mind go along with that, and I'm pretty sure I've discovered the source of the re-gain.  I'll keep working on it.

I have a throbbing headache this morning, I didn’t want to get up and go to work, but people are counting on me to be there.  Getting a cuppa joe and it will probably be better.

R6P2VLCD4–166.5

Down another pound. Have a headache again this morning, but it'll go away once the coffee gets brewed!
Have a great day, everyone.

R6P2VLCD3–167.5

 

Down 2.5 today!  Woo Hoo!

R6P2VLCD2 - 170

Weight:  170

Unbelievable.  That’s my reaction to the number  on the scale.

In my defense, I’ve been in the high 160’s over the last 2-3 weeks.  I just came back from a quilting conference that would include restaurant food, and family reunion at the end of the week where I new there would be a TON of food.  So, I waited to do this round so I wouldn’t have to fight that kind of temptation and set myself up for defeat.  Instead, I used it as my loading weekend, and I’m starting my 6th round.

I didn’t have access to a scale but once, but without the consistency of using the same scale, I can only guess that I’ve lost 2 pounds from loading.  I’ll take it!

I looked back at my records, and I’m at the same weight I was in March.  That would be discouraging if the information was taken at face value, but I’ve had a couple of conversations recently about the weight gain I’ve experienced over the summer, which have been enlightening.

The initial gains occurred 2-3 pounds at a time, and not with intention, but circumstantially (not knowing food contents at a birthday party; poor planning for a shopping trip) but when the weight didn’t come off after that, I started mentally slipping.  I’m still working through that, but the main idea that surfaced was old beliefs…that I’m not worthy of this.

Fill in the blank to what “this” is, but the feeling of not being good enough is nothing new.  No matter where these beliefs or feelings came from, this is now my main enemy, not food.

I hesitated to use the word enemy, but upon reflection, that’s really an apt description.  One definition of enemy is “a hostile state”.  That belief works against me, doesn’t support any personal growth or peace of mind.  It is my enemy and I will not avoid it, I will confront it, and I will conquer it.

I deserve freedom from this feeling, this old, inaccurate, belief.

August 2011 - Maintenance Update

I am 9 pounds over LIW from round 5, and not only can I feel the difference in my body, because I’ve regained it in my tummy, my head says "you're fat". Well, I know I'm not exactly fat, just my tummy is, and that does not make me fat!

I have been able to get in 1-2 workouts on the elliptical a week over the past month or so, and I’m working on getting to my goal of 3 per week.  Eventually I want to add in Pilates, too, because even at the lower weight I could tell my stomach muscles are shaped outward, from when I was powerlifting.  I need those muscles to work at supporting my back and internal organs, like they are meant to.

I found early on that I need to track my calories, but I detest doing it.  I really want to be able to eat with a sense of what I should have to fuel my body, with maybe an occasional treat, so have really resisted that step.  I need to re-train my brain to see it as a helpful tool, not a leash.

Round 5 Summary

LIW:  151

I got super busy and didn’t follow through with my blog on Round 5, so here it is:

My Last Injection Weight was 151!  I maintained at 153 in P3 for 1 1/2 – 2 weeks until a birthday party came up.  I decided I was probably close enough to getting to adding in carbs to try some of the BBQ burger (no bun), veggies and watermelon, as well as the red velvet birthday cake and ice cream.

What was I thinking?!?!?!?

After I had eaten the burger I found out that it was laced with BBQ sauce, you know, where it was mixed into the raw meat before cooking.  There’s so much sugar in commercial BBQ sauce!

So, I gained 4 pounds from that day, only to lose 1 of them by the end of that week.  I maintained at 156 for 2 weeks, then ate at a restaurant.  Trying to eat well, I had 1/2 sandwich and some jambalaya soup.  Gained 2 more pounds, and without being able to lose any of that by protein days, extra water, or exercise, that put me at a solid 158.

Another event, which I don’t remember right off the top of my head, has had me between 159 – 160 for the past 2 weeks.

So very discouraging, on the one hand, that it seems to be creeping so insidiously back.  However, I’m determined that this will not be my life, I am not going back to the weight or mindset I came from.   I am in charge of my health, my weight, and my life.

I can say that, being 50 pounds lighter than I was, I have much more energy, I feel like my old self, and have been able to accomplish so much more than I have in the past 5 years.  I will take all necessary measures to protect that asset!

Right now I am giving my body a rest from the diet.  I did 5 rounds over the course of a year, and it’s needed.  I’m observing how my body is responding  to “normal” food and activities.  Ultimately, it’s up to me to maintain whatever loss I achieve, and I want to make sure it’s a realistic goal.

I’ve been looking at my schedule, and will consult my doctor, to confirm when I think is a good time for another round, hopefully my last one (I’ve said that before).  I’m seriously considering October, after I come back from a quilting conference, but we’ll have to see what life brings.

R5VLCD5 - 157

Weight: 157

I’m officially past my LIW!

I’m really pleased, too, because I’m at the beginning of this round and I have my sights on the 140’s!

I’ve really not been hungry, either, although today we worked in the yard and the landscaper came by to rototill the garden at 11.  I ate lunch at 10:30 because I knew I wanted to start planting right away, as it’s supposed to rain tomorrow, possibly even tonight.

With such an early meal, I saved my lunch for a snack, only to find that I only had apples and oranges at my disposal.  In the first round, I discovered that oranges make me stall; either that, or I was already eating too much.  Well, I decided to try it, and ate a small orange at 1pm, as I wanted to save my apple for my late evening snack.

I was really proud of myself when, at 3pm, I was needing another snack and water wasn’t working; I heated up some asparagus, added seasonings, and had a very healthy snack.  I didn’t even consider anything off protocol!

I’m pretty tired tonight, though, so I’ll have to wait for the outcome.  It’s supposed to be rainy and windy tomorrow, and I plan to work on the computer and quilt.

R4–R5: Resuming From Planned Interruption

Weight: 161

On April 16th, I hit 157.5, but my lowest was 154.5.  I’ll have to look up when that was, because, weirdly, I didn’t blab that to the world!

I suspended that long 4th round, because I found that after day 27 I was cheating quite a bit, and did that for 2 weeks!   I couldn't justify the expense of the shots to keep cheating without making progress, and obviously my head wasn’t into it, so I decided to take a planned 2 week interruption.

In Pounds and Inches, they describe a planned interruption as “resuming” where you left off, but since I’d done a long round, I’m not sure that actually applies.  Not only that, I’m concerned that if I resumed for only the 8 days of hCG that I have left, that I wouldn’t be able to stabilize, nor would I lose the amount I want to.  I contacted my doctor, and he issued a prescription for another 15 days, to add to my remaining supply, and I’ll do a short round, ending in time to have burgers, sans bun, for Memorial Day weekend!

I'm not re-loading, but going to take 2 days of shots and start VLCD on Monday.  I'm not sure that is exactly protocol for a planned interruption, I think I've seen it referred to as cycling.

I’m taking measurements today…so, we'll see what happens!

R4VLCD41–157.5

Weight: 157.5

I’m at the end of my 4th round.

In considering where I am in this whole process, I still have what I call a “baby muffin top” around my middle, so I think I’ve only got about 10 pounds left to go.  That’s really frustrating, because if I hadn’t screwed up the last 2 weeks, I could be done already! The problem is that I’ve really been struggling with staying on protocol for that time, resulting in gaining and re-losing the same 2-3 pounds.

The round started out very strong, the first VLCD was March 7th, at 170 pounds. At day 27, I weighed in at 157 pounds. My average loss was almost a pound a day this round, which has been a very encouraging change from the other rounds. That’s a 13 pound total loss in 27 days, including the load days.

Where I started struggling is that I’ve started to get hungry, which I know is the indicator that my body is done for the round. Sometimes it’s a matter of a lighter hunger in the morning that grows into being really hungry because I haven’t had my veggie snack with me to get me through, such as when I’m at a customer’s desk. I started adding two hard boiled eggs for breakfast, and then later even added 2 Mozzarella string cheese sticks to that because I’ve been hungry in the mornings. The times I’ve tried to wait, I got too hungry by lunchtime, ate too fast, and then wasn’t very satisfied when I was finished eating.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve just gotten super hungry in the afternoon, before I get home from work, and I’ve already eaten everything I took with me for the day. When I get home, I have to have a snack so I can make it to dinner, and I’ve gone way overboard. So, letting myself get too hungry has been the biggest problem, one I thought I could work through and finish out for the remaining 8 days, but I’m doubting how effective those remaining days will be. I try to eat high protein foods, rather than carbs, when I get that hungry. It might be, too, that the extra food is causing me to really crave sugar; hard to say.

The other problem has been social situations. One, yes, I’d gotten too hungry and ate a quarter of a chicken quesadilla that was offered to me, and I was so grateful to have it. The other, however, was a get-together last week where I couldn’t resist the brownies, cake and deviled eggs (I was trying to eat protein, so started with them first). I’d eaten dinner before going, and have resisted the treats in the past, but I really ate a lot that night, so much so that I was still full the next morning.

I’m thinking that taking a 2 week break and then doing a 23 day round might be the perfect time to let me re-group, as well as start working on changing the Armour dose.  I’ll work with my doctor to see what his opinion on this is and go from there.

In the meantime, I have to get through the next couple of VLCD eating.

R4VLCD32–156.5

Weight: 156.5

Yesterday started to go swimmingly, and I’m feeling really good about continuing my round.  That is, until I didn’t have my lunch with me and I was out of time to retrieve it and still make my lunch date.

I didn't realize my 10am meeting was going to end at lunch time, RIGHT where I was going to meet my quilting buddies for lunch, and didn't take it with me. So, rather than walk back and forth across campus to get my lunch and come back, while I was REALLY hungry, I decided to buy a Chik-Fil-A grilled chicken salad. Not too bad, I thought...although really no taste to it, and I swear only 2 oz of chicken in the whole thing!

....and then…

I couldn't refuse a 1/4 of a chicken quesadilla that my buddy offered me...and it was WONDERFUL! (still drooling!!)....because even while I was eating the salad, I was STILL hungry and I could tell that salad was NOT going to do anything for me, not fill me up, not to satisfy me, nor to nourish me.  What a sad statement about veggies!

I know I shouldn't have eaten it, and was expecting another spike in my weight.  The first time I got on the scale, though, I even saw .5 drop!…and then 3 more times at the same weight.  So, I can’t really complain at all, because I also had extra chicken last night.

More than likely, this will be a stall weight for a few days and I just need to slug it out.  My only concern is the short amount of time remaining on this round to meet my goal, and I still need to deal with my overall 2 pound gain from earlier in the week.

Sigh....but still hoping to break 150!

R4VLCD31–156.5

Weight: 156.5

I’m up 2 pounds because on Sunday I had a hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) episode and I ate to compensate for it.  Pounds and Inches states that this can happen suddenly when you’re close to your goal weight.  I started with honey, because Pounds and Inches says to take a teaspoon of sugar, and after about 30 minutes I still needed something else so I added some Mozzarella cheese sticks, and I ate more chicken at dinner, and added some mixed nuts.

Needless to say, going off protocol like that caused a 2 pound gain!  Aaagghh!

Monday I still didn’t feel quite right, and I added a breakfast of scrambled eggs and stir fried veggies.  Of course, breaking routine is a sure way of setting myself up, and I’ve had a hard time keeping to protocol, and I’ve cheated.  So, up another .5 pounds yesterday, when I hit 157.

I started considering taking a planned interruption, to try to re-focus.  I've only got about 12 days left of 200cc shots to finish out a long round.  I know, though, that with this gain that I will be fighting this 3 pound gain for at least a week, all the while consuming my precious shots and not getting anywhere.  I'm only about 10 pounds away from my goal weight (I still have a baby muffin top around my middle).

I'm worried, though, that, according to a normal course, I'm supposed to do at least 21 days of shots to reset the metabolism.  My support group says they’ve done this before, but it’s not really clear in P&I about how long the  number of days on the extended portion needs to be.

This morning, I’m down .5 pounds, even after adding an extra serving of eggs in the morning and skipping a dose, so I’m going to finish out my shots.  The Physician’s Assistant also recommended not doing a planned interruption, so that reinforces my sense of direction.

Here’s to keeping my blood sugar stable, the “hungries and munchies” away, and to shedding that last 10 pounds!

R4VLCD27 - 155

Weight:  155

Well, I seem to be stalled at 155.  Day 3 at this weight, and I'm getting impatient to break into the 140's!

I'm not sure what I'm doing differently, if anything.  I know from experience that worrying about it and trying to make changes to get things moving is pretty ineffective; the body will do what it's gonna do, I just gotta keep to the program!

I have a harder time sticking to protocol on the weekends, though, especially this round since my hubby has been eating normal foods, where he didn't the first couple of rounds.  I have a habit of "nibbling off his plate", so to speak, which makes it worse.  The option:  to keep myself in check!

That being said, I really can see a huge difference in my body, even from just this round; the remaining area of fat on my midsection is much smaller, and seems to be firmer, where I can even imagine having only a normal midsection.  Oh, how I've wanted that for so long!  And now with this stall, it seems like it's just out of my grasp.  That's what's hard about what seems to be not making any progress.

So, I'll take my own advice and measure!  It is, after all, pounds and inches!

Happy Weekend!

R4VLCD26 - 155

Weight: 155

OK, so I've been chewing gum this round...totally not protocol, but it has helped me a lot and doesn't seem to have caused any stalls.  Well, yesterday, someone brought in fruit breakfast bars from a bakery, you know the ones that look all healthy for you, and I totally LOVE those types of things.

I immediately popped gum in my mouth, and then proceeded to "chain chew" all day.  My temples and jaws are SO sore!!  While I didn't cheat, I didn't lose either, FYI, but I also have adjusted my dose down a notch the last couple of days, so hard to say what that's about.  I'm also getting close to goal, but I have 20+ more days to go, too.

Not worried about it, just reporting...

R4VLCD25 - 155

Weight: 155

I hit 155 today!

In June 2010, I weighed 208 and never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd ever see 155.   I've extended this round and I think I'll be able to get 10-12 more pounds off of my belly.  What a mind bender!

OK, so looking back at my stats for the week, it would appear that I’ve only shed 2 pounds, so let me explain: I nibbled food from my hubby’s plate this last weekend, and it stalled me out.  So….I paid for it again.  SO not worth it!

R4VLCD21 - 157

Weight: 157

Does anyone else get hungrier at home vs. when they are at work??

Yesterday I was out getting my hair done and running errands, so I planned ahead and took my lunch with me.  I ate at 11am, which isn’t much earlier than I normally eat at work, but by the time I got home at 2pm, I was really hungry!

I had another lunch of mostly stir fried veggies, added 2.2 oz more of protein, but I ended up nibbling on some other things too.  Of course, I'm UP A POUND this morning!  GRRRR!  I'm just disappointed in myself when I see the effects and then I worry that this setback will cost me ANOTHER week!

Today is another day, so can't focus on it or it'll drive me crazy.  I will be drinking LOTS of water today and if the “hungries” come around, it’s raw veggies and such for me!

R4VLCD19 - 157

Weight: 157

I have to say, I am quite pleased that I am now firmly in the 150’s!

I have not been hungry this round, and I really attribute that to the amount of fat I was eating in the time between rounds.  Loading for just a couple of days is apparently not enough for my sensitive system!

My goal now is to get to the 140’s, and I will be able to do that by extending this short round to a long round.  Got the OK from my doctor yesterday and I’ll be picking up more hCG early next week.  I like to break up the amount of the product I get so that it remains fresh; you never know if you might forget it on the counter all day or some other disaster!

I asked the doc about being so cold, and we did some energy work on the parasympathetic nervous system yesterday.  I’ve already had my blood pressure come down and was less cold last night, so have “homework” to do on those energy points.

I think this next 10-15 pound drop will be another perception-bending experience.  I’m looking forward to it.

R4VLCD14 - 160

Weight: 160

I am apparently stalled for the 4th day in a row, after I cheated on St. Patty's Day (I've been super cold lately and just wanted more food).

However, my digital scale only does .5 pound increments, and one of the times on the scale (it was all over the place today) said 159.5, rather than 160, so I think tomorrow will show forward progress. Definitely doing a long round, though, because I won't make my goal if I don't, and I don't want to mess with it again!

Other than being cold, I have lots of energy; well, let me put it another way.  I've been really pushing my limits, staying up until 2am last Wednesday evening, then until midnight Thursday night.  I never recover fully when I do that, so I've been having lower energy days in general.  However, it's only when I feel really good that I can even slip into that sort of sustained energy expenditure.  So, I have to watch myself to make sure I don't burn out!

R4VLCD11 - 160

Weight: 160

I am very pleased that I dropped a pound, but I have been freezing this entire week!

Is it the diet?  Is it my thyroid medicine?  Is it that it’s been cold the last 3 months?

I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care!  I’m tired of being cold!

I don’t mean “put on a sweater” cold, I mean downright dead-body cold.  No, really!  I try to warm up before I touch my husband, so I don’t put him into shock.  The only way I seem to be able to get warm is to touch a human body, a warm teacup, or steal heat from a puppy.

Sigh.

Blood pressure has been up, too, but there are several factors: stress, lack of sleep, minimal exercise, and probably my thyroid medicine needs to be lowered, now that I’m down almost 50 pounds.

I’m not one to complain about the weather, but I’m sure ready for Summer!

R4VLCD9 - 161

Weight: 161

I was pleasantly surprised when I got on the scale this morning…161…although I could tell that I was probably lighter before I even weighed myself.  Bittersweet:  only 4 more pounds to reach my lowest weight from the last round.

I’m feeling very good, I have lots of energy and haven’t been very hungry the last couple of days and getting in all my water.  I even took a walk yesterday.  It was raining today so I didn’t want to go out in it.

I had a very stressful day at work but I did NOT succumb to the chocolate that someone brought into the office!  I keep reminding myself that I am 15 pounds away from goal weight, without any wiggle room if I am to do a short round, although only having to do a short round would be a bonus and not something I’m counting on.

Most days are not as stressful as today was, but something will always come up, so I need to figure out some effective measures to deal with these sorts of situations.  Exercise is a fabulous way to work off steam, and I remember many 3 hour long workout sessions.  I don’t want to commit that amount of time any more, but that is a great outlet.  If I could just get over not wanting to be rained on….

R4VLCD6 - 163

Weight: 163

Down another pound, and reminding myself this isn’t new territory.  Why do we need to learn the hard (and expensive) way?

Also enjoying how I’m feeling.  My stomach isn’t sticking out so much and my pants, which are my new, smaller size, are beginning to fit comfortably again.

I’m also trying not to count how much I will weigh by such-and-such a date.  That’s a bit hard, being excited about the transformation, figuring out how much more of this sort of effort will be required for this duration, as well as trying to schedule events into one’s life.

I forgot my water bottle at home yesterday, so I didn’t get my full amount of water in, and I was hungrier than usual, too.  Not gonna make that mistake today!

R4VLCD5 - 164

Weight: 164

Good, I’m down .5 pounds today.  That makes a total of 6 pounds so far, including the load weight (which I hate including).

It’s hard to say if I would have lost more if I had eaten a different dinner last night.  While I wouldn’t recommend eating lamb on a regular basis on the diet, or even again, at least I didn’t gain!  And in the overall scheme of everything, no harm done!

R4VLCD4 – 164.5

Weight: 164.5
My hubby made me a surprise dinner….a lamb steak, with cabbage!
It smelled wonderful as I walked through the door tonight, and he was so proud to have gotten me a surprise….and I was hungry, too!  Today was the first day where I was a bit hungry during the day, but not even close to any of the other rounds.
In case you’re wondering…lamb is NOT on the list!  He got it mixed up with veal…
I counted up the calories, and I’m within my limits, so, I ate it, and we’ll see what the scale says tomorrow.  I don’t plan to make a habit of deviating from the approved food list, but sometimes you just gotta go with some love!

R4VLCD1 - 170

Weight: 170
I started my 4th round on Saturday, doing injections again.  Today is VLCD 1.
Why another round?  Well, I had 10-15 pounds to get rid of at the end of round 3 and I haven’t gotten rid of them.  I have been exercising, but not what I think of as a consistent routine like going to the gym 3 times a week.  I’ve been walking at lunch, but sometimes I can’t. 
I have eaten pretty normally in the meantime.  Actually, I pushed the limits, with the food sensitivities and allergies I have.  It’s been interesting on the one hand, but I haven’t felt as fabulous as I could.  I’m still getting used to the “new” me, at a size 12, too, although, I gained 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks.
That started with a weekend trip that included a ton of food; that should have been my load weekend, and, in fact, was going to be, but I decided to put it off since our anniversary was 2 weeks after that.  Then I hurt my back and couldn’t continue my walks.
Frankly, I’m tired of waiting, I’m tired of loading and can’t wait to get this weight off me!

Two months post 3rd Round

Weight: 165

I thought I’d post a response I sent to a first round hCG dieter, when she expressed concern about gaining the weight back and was only 5 days into the diet and looking forward to having cheese:

P3 has its own challenges, so stay focused on where you are now (a good life lesson anyway) and remind yourself that you can do anything for a short amount of time.

I've done 3 rounds.  I gained at least 5 back each time.  Disappointing in its own right, and frustrating to have to re-lose weight that was so hard won in this battle, but I decided not to worry about it because I knew that I would be doing another round, and overall, I was much lighter and healthier than when I started.

My last round ended on December 10th, 2010 and I had a total reduction of 51 pounds (yay me!)  I gained the 5 pounds, held fast for about a month, then gained another 2 or 3, then another 2 or 3.  I just got back from a weekend trip and gained 3 pounds, but I lost 2 of those right away when I got home.  Now my back is hurting, so didn't walk yesterday or today...but I will get rid of the trip gain in the next few days.  After my last round, I still had some fat I need to get rid of, so decided then that a 4th round might be an option.  I'm planning to start a 42 day round again on March 7th.

So, yes, it creeps up if you aren't watching what you eat.  I'm learning, and/or re-learning, my triggers and what doesn't work for my body.  These are not new triggers, either, I have several food allergies, but was hoping I could eat some things that I couldn't before.  And I have been able to, but I'm also trying to pay closer attention to the results.

This diet makes a person hyper-aware of the smallest change in your body.  Sometimes that's good, sometimes not so good, because it's hard to keep it in perspective.

I'm looking forward to doing another round because I know it works, plus, I'm taking charge of myself well before my weight gets really out of hand.  So, it's a win-win all the way around.

I hope that helps put some perspective on the process....