P9P3D23–166.5

Weight: 166.5

Wow, I seem to have stabilized!  AND survived the first round of Christmas food!

So in the past 13 days while I haven’t been blogging, my max weight has been 167.  What I’ve done so far is go for really low carb fare.  That means no bread, no cookies, no cereal, no grains.  Most of my carbs have come from fruit, like oranges, frozen berries in protein shakes, and on occasion, bananas. I’ve also ventured into a spoonful of leftover cornbread stuffing and some refried beans.  And I was convinced I’d shoot up.

On Thursday we had a potluck at our office.  Many of the attendees are either vegan or gluten free and there were LOTS of desserts, rice and few low carb protein options.  Well, I only gained a pound, I went from 166 to 167.

Yesterday I got onto the elliptical for 25 minutes and today I’m down by .5 pound.  Also, I wasn’t really hungry after all that food the previous day and I didn’t eat my normal amount of food, I just went with protein / low carb when I did eat.  In other words, I listened to my body and didn’t eat just because it was “time”.

I’m trying not to get overly confident.  Mostly, I feel like I dodged a bullet, but then, I always feel that way.  Sort of along the lines of “you don’t deserve to be thin”.  Which is total crap.

(Notice the phrase “you”, not “I” ?  That’s someone else talking, and I bought into it long ago).

Pure crap.

R9P3D12 – 166.5

Weight: 166.5

I’ve been sick with swollen glands the past 3 days, and I’m tired of it!

I’m not inclined to exercise when I’m sick, but my back is sore from sitting and now I’m up a whole pound, too.

Crabby? You betchya!

R9P3D9 –166

Weight: 166

I was grazing yesterday, and the choice I went to most was string cheese.  You know, instead of the veggies I had right in front of me!

I have a sensitivity to the protein in dairy so I really do need to stop eating string cheese, most dairy for that matter, at least on a consistent basis.

Anyway, my co-worker wasn’t available to go, but I did go for my walk yesterday.  When I looked at my fitness tracker it said I had burned 100 calories less than when she goes with me.  I’ll tell her that today!

As for this morning, I’m getting on the elliptical.  Gotta keep moving!

R9P3D8 – 165.5

Weight: 165.5

I had a pretty good low carb day, but I’m feeling pretty full this morning so thought my weight would be up.

I’m tired this morning, too, so no workout, but I’m planning a walk at lunch time, even if it is below freezing outside!

R9P3D7–166.5

Weight: 166.5

So, I can’t do a steak day.

That is, I got hungry in the morning and I was hungry at lunch.  So I ate low carb all day.  And had a steak and low carb faux-tato salad.

And I’m up .5

So, this is where that “several days of strict dieting” comes into play.  I’m working out this morning, too.

Sigh.

R9VLCD21 - 165

Weight: 165

A whole pound drop!  Nice!

I’m usually not focused on a specific number when it comes to my weight, but there is something satisfying about hitting those “even” numbers.  No, 165 isn’t an even number, but it IS half way between those “decades”!

Yesterday I hit the elliptical for 25 minutes, and had a 35 minute walk at lunch.  My back is feeling a lot more limber, but it’s still a bit sore, and it doesn’t take much to stiffen up again.

It always makes me wonder about the protocol and how we interpret it these days.  Dr. Simeons didn’t say “sit on your butt while you’re on this diet”, he said don’t over do it.

That goes along with loading, too.  Most people go way overboard when loading.  I’ve done it, too, in the very beginning, and then spent at least a week of the diet getting that weight off.  What I’ve found is to focus on healthy fats, and don’t absolutely gorge.  It’s just not necessary.

Last Round Summary - 153

Well, I’ve been busy with my husband’s surgery and the holidays and just neglected to write anything about the last days of the diet.  Suffice it to say that I wasn’t perfect, and I didn’t ever get below 151 pounds, which I’m OK with if I don’t gain it back!  My goal for a max weight is 155 because I don’t feel good at more than that.

Now I’m in P3, the carb-only phase, for the next 3 weeks.  Make that the next 2 weeks, since this week has already gone by!

This past week I’ve fluctuated a bit, back and forth between 153 and 155.  Part of the fluctuation can be attributed to eating some carbs when I’m not supposed to, but it really depends on what type of carbs they are.  Fruit, specifically oranges and apples, have been OK, but brownies are not.  Hmm, go figure, right? 

I’ve done protein days, with lots of water, when I’ve gotten to 155 and has worked to get me back to 153.  I also seem to be having problems eating blue cheese dressing, but that’s not terribly surprising with all of the food sensitivities I have.

It would have been nice to get into the high 140’s, but I was hungrier the last couple of weeks and ate more calories; maybe I not as determined as I needed to be to push through that.  It’s been a long journey and I’m tired of dieting.  I want to move to a more normal life of eating and exercising because it’s healthy for me to do so.  Now I feel good about myself and don’t have the extra stress on my body with all of that extra weight.  That doesn’t mean I don’t still have work to do, mentally, emotionally or physically, or can lower my guard.  These new habits and feelings of self worth are fragile and need reinforcement.

I still have fat on my belly, which I detest, and it’s still round.  Some of that comes from powerlifting, where I pushed against the belt and trained the muscles to have a concave shape, and some of it is hereditary.  I’m hoping that exercise, Pilates specifically, will help re-shape my abdomen so it doesn’t stick out so much.  I’m also hoping that my body will adjust and re-distribute some of the weight as time goes on, but I can’t imagine where else it would go!  I’ve got measurements to check against, so that will be interesting to see in the next 3, 6, 9 and 12 months.

One change I made on this last round is that I ate more calories at the end, and my weight pretty much stabilized in the low 150’s during that time.  I’m hoping that by doing this I will help my body stabilize at this weight permanently; it’s where I am now.  This approach is not what is prescribed in the protocol, though, so it will be interesting to see how this differs from the other rounds.

In total, I’ve lost 55 pounds since I started getting rid of the extra weight.  Sometimes more, sometimes less.  But in this Year of Eleven, my special year, I’m taking this as the start of something great.

R7P2VLCD22 – 151.5

My hubby had rotator cuff repair surgery on Friday.

The surgery itself went well, but as the nerve block wore off he had a rough night. I got overly hungry getting his prescription on the way home, too, and ate his some of his Ritz crackers, then later on, trail mix.  No, I did not need the trail mix.  It was there.

So, neither of us got much sleep, in between the pain, the worry, and getting up every couple of hours to make sure he got his pain meds.

The damage?  Only up .5, which I’m very thankful for.  Usually, a cheat like this will add 2-3 pounds, and cause a week long stall.  Now, I’m hoping I didn’t create a stall!

The meds are helping and his pain is much less today.  I’ll still hover, worry and fuss until I can tell he really is OK, so I suppose that will mean little rest for me for a bit.  I’m just going to try to minimize the damage that all this stress does to my weight goal.

Thanks for the prayers, they are appreciated!

August 2011 - Maintenance Update

I am 9 pounds over LIW from round 5, and not only can I feel the difference in my body, because I’ve regained it in my tummy, my head says "you're fat". Well, I know I'm not exactly fat, just my tummy is, and that does not make me fat!

I have been able to get in 1-2 workouts on the elliptical a week over the past month or so, and I’m working on getting to my goal of 3 per week.  Eventually I want to add in Pilates, too, because even at the lower weight I could tell my stomach muscles are shaped outward, from when I was powerlifting.  I need those muscles to work at supporting my back and internal organs, like they are meant to.

I found early on that I need to track my calories, but I detest doing it.  I really want to be able to eat with a sense of what I should have to fuel my body, with maybe an occasional treat, so have really resisted that step.  I need to re-train my brain to see it as a helpful tool, not a leash.

Round 5 Summary

LIW:  151

I got super busy and didn’t follow through with my blog on Round 5, so here it is:

My Last Injection Weight was 151!  I maintained at 153 in P3 for 1 1/2 – 2 weeks until a birthday party came up.  I decided I was probably close enough to getting to adding in carbs to try some of the BBQ burger (no bun), veggies and watermelon, as well as the red velvet birthday cake and ice cream.

What was I thinking?!?!?!?

After I had eaten the burger I found out that it was laced with BBQ sauce, you know, where it was mixed into the raw meat before cooking.  There’s so much sugar in commercial BBQ sauce!

So, I gained 4 pounds from that day, only to lose 1 of them by the end of that week.  I maintained at 156 for 2 weeks, then ate at a restaurant.  Trying to eat well, I had 1/2 sandwich and some jambalaya soup.  Gained 2 more pounds, and without being able to lose any of that by protein days, extra water, or exercise, that put me at a solid 158.

Another event, which I don’t remember right off the top of my head, has had me between 159 – 160 for the past 2 weeks.

So very discouraging, on the one hand, that it seems to be creeping so insidiously back.  However, I’m determined that this will not be my life, I am not going back to the weight or mindset I came from.   I am in charge of my health, my weight, and my life.

I can say that, being 50 pounds lighter than I was, I have much more energy, I feel like my old self, and have been able to accomplish so much more than I have in the past 5 years.  I will take all necessary measures to protect that asset!

Right now I am giving my body a rest from the diet.  I did 5 rounds over the course of a year, and it’s needed.  I’m observing how my body is responding  to “normal” food and activities.  Ultimately, it’s up to me to maintain whatever loss I achieve, and I want to make sure it’s a realistic goal.

I’ve been looking at my schedule, and will consult my doctor, to confirm when I think is a good time for another round, hopefully my last one (I’ve said that before).  I’m seriously considering October, after I come back from a quilting conference, but we’ll have to see what life brings.

R4–R5: Resuming From Planned Interruption

Weight: 161

On April 16th, I hit 157.5, but my lowest was 154.5.  I’ll have to look up when that was, because, weirdly, I didn’t blab that to the world!

I suspended that long 4th round, because I found that after day 27 I was cheating quite a bit, and did that for 2 weeks!   I couldn't justify the expense of the shots to keep cheating without making progress, and obviously my head wasn’t into it, so I decided to take a planned 2 week interruption.

In Pounds and Inches, they describe a planned interruption as “resuming” where you left off, but since I’d done a long round, I’m not sure that actually applies.  Not only that, I’m concerned that if I resumed for only the 8 days of hCG that I have left, that I wouldn’t be able to stabilize, nor would I lose the amount I want to.  I contacted my doctor, and he issued a prescription for another 15 days, to add to my remaining supply, and I’ll do a short round, ending in time to have burgers, sans bun, for Memorial Day weekend!

I'm not re-loading, but going to take 2 days of shots and start VLCD on Monday.  I'm not sure that is exactly protocol for a planned interruption, I think I've seen it referred to as cycling.

I’m taking measurements today…so, we'll see what happens!

R4VLCD41–157.5

Weight: 157.5

I’m at the end of my 4th round.

In considering where I am in this whole process, I still have what I call a “baby muffin top” around my middle, so I think I’ve only got about 10 pounds left to go.  That’s really frustrating, because if I hadn’t screwed up the last 2 weeks, I could be done already! The problem is that I’ve really been struggling with staying on protocol for that time, resulting in gaining and re-losing the same 2-3 pounds.

The round started out very strong, the first VLCD was March 7th, at 170 pounds. At day 27, I weighed in at 157 pounds. My average loss was almost a pound a day this round, which has been a very encouraging change from the other rounds. That’s a 13 pound total loss in 27 days, including the load days.

Where I started struggling is that I’ve started to get hungry, which I know is the indicator that my body is done for the round. Sometimes it’s a matter of a lighter hunger in the morning that grows into being really hungry because I haven’t had my veggie snack with me to get me through, such as when I’m at a customer’s desk. I started adding two hard boiled eggs for breakfast, and then later even added 2 Mozzarella string cheese sticks to that because I’ve been hungry in the mornings. The times I’ve tried to wait, I got too hungry by lunchtime, ate too fast, and then wasn’t very satisfied when I was finished eating.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve just gotten super hungry in the afternoon, before I get home from work, and I’ve already eaten everything I took with me for the day. When I get home, I have to have a snack so I can make it to dinner, and I’ve gone way overboard. So, letting myself get too hungry has been the biggest problem, one I thought I could work through and finish out for the remaining 8 days, but I’m doubting how effective those remaining days will be. I try to eat high protein foods, rather than carbs, when I get that hungry. It might be, too, that the extra food is causing me to really crave sugar; hard to say.

The other problem has been social situations. One, yes, I’d gotten too hungry and ate a quarter of a chicken quesadilla that was offered to me, and I was so grateful to have it. The other, however, was a get-together last week where I couldn’t resist the brownies, cake and deviled eggs (I was trying to eat protein, so started with them first). I’d eaten dinner before going, and have resisted the treats in the past, but I really ate a lot that night, so much so that I was still full the next morning.

I’m thinking that taking a 2 week break and then doing a 23 day round might be the perfect time to let me re-group, as well as start working on changing the Armour dose.  I’ll work with my doctor to see what his opinion on this is and go from there.

In the meantime, I have to get through the next couple of VLCD eating.

R4VLCD14 - 160

Weight: 160

I am apparently stalled for the 4th day in a row, after I cheated on St. Patty's Day (I've been super cold lately and just wanted more food).

However, my digital scale only does .5 pound increments, and one of the times on the scale (it was all over the place today) said 159.5, rather than 160, so I think tomorrow will show forward progress. Definitely doing a long round, though, because I won't make my goal if I don't, and I don't want to mess with it again!

Other than being cold, I have lots of energy; well, let me put it another way.  I've been really pushing my limits, staying up until 2am last Wednesday evening, then until midnight Thursday night.  I never recover fully when I do that, so I've been having lower energy days in general.  However, it's only when I feel really good that I can even slip into that sort of sustained energy expenditure.  So, I have to watch myself to make sure I don't burn out!

Two months post 3rd Round

Weight: 165

I thought I’d post a response I sent to a first round hCG dieter, when she expressed concern about gaining the weight back and was only 5 days into the diet and looking forward to having cheese:

P3 has its own challenges, so stay focused on where you are now (a good life lesson anyway) and remind yourself that you can do anything for a short amount of time.

I've done 3 rounds.  I gained at least 5 back each time.  Disappointing in its own right, and frustrating to have to re-lose weight that was so hard won in this battle, but I decided not to worry about it because I knew that I would be doing another round, and overall, I was much lighter and healthier than when I started.

My last round ended on December 10th, 2010 and I had a total reduction of 51 pounds (yay me!)  I gained the 5 pounds, held fast for about a month, then gained another 2 or 3, then another 2 or 3.  I just got back from a weekend trip and gained 3 pounds, but I lost 2 of those right away when I got home.  Now my back is hurting, so didn't walk yesterday or today...but I will get rid of the trip gain in the next few days.  After my last round, I still had some fat I need to get rid of, so decided then that a 4th round might be an option.  I'm planning to start a 42 day round again on March 7th.

So, yes, it creeps up if you aren't watching what you eat.  I'm learning, and/or re-learning, my triggers and what doesn't work for my body.  These are not new triggers, either, I have several food allergies, but was hoping I could eat some things that I couldn't before.  And I have been able to, but I'm also trying to pay closer attention to the results.

This diet makes a person hyper-aware of the smallest change in your body.  Sometimes that's good, sometimes not so good, because it's hard to keep it in perspective.

I'm looking forward to doing another round because I know it works, plus, I'm taking charge of myself well before my weight gets really out of hand.  So, it's a win-win all the way around.

I hope that helps put some perspective on the process....

R3–Third week of P3–161.5

Weight: 161.5

I am up over my LIW by 4.5 pounds, in this last week of P3.  However, for the past 3 days I have been rock solid at this weight!  I've not been counting calories or adding my food to Spark, although I think that's a great idea and a habit I want to get back to.

I'm not entirely sure if being up by 5 pounds is my former bad eating habits and the "whew, I can finally eat" syndrome, or my body just naturally adjusting back to that weight.  Maybe...probably...a combination of both.

I've done the elliptical once this week and can feel I need to do it again, but my current excuse (yes, it's an excuse) is that I'm trying to maximize the rest of the next 5 days I have off and there is plenty to do; seems I get a pretty late start when I get up at 7am, then exercise, then get myself cleaned up and have breakfast...the day is half over!  Ha!  I crack myself up!

So, what am I doing?  Well, I've been planning to clear off my desk for the past 4 days, and doing a pretty good job of avoiding tackling it again today.

Procrastination is probably one of my biggest downfalls...so, addressing this bad habit is going to go hand in hand with my "de-cluttering" focus.  I started de-cluttering some of my small piles last year, and it felt great, then I stopped when I got busy with school, dieting, and working on other projects.

Now I am considering it as an extension of my "makeover"...I've gotten rid of almost 50 pounds, now I'm going to get rid of paper piles and the procrastination that seems to breed them.

Today I even came up with a way to mentally re-frame some of the weekly tasks I need to do which are part of this problem...I am going to "put my house in order" one day each week.  Sunday after brunch is my currently planned time, one that isn't likely to get rescheduled and has the most likelihood of success.

There's more on this to-do list, but I need to get back to "the abyss"....

R3P3D11–Size 12!

Weight: 162

Yesterday I put on my skinny jeans..you know, the size 14 stretch jeans that I bought in July that I kept making excuses for as to why I was able to wear such a small size (they've got lycra in them, after all!)  After I washed them, I was concerned that they were creating a bit of a muffin top around my mid-section that I hadn't noticed before washing, so I've only worn them with loose fitting shirts.   I detest muffin tops!

So, yesterday when I put them on, I thought they felt sort of loose.  Mind you, I'm not the same size all over, I still have extra fat around my middle where the rest of me is fairly lean, even if not toned.  My hubby used to call me his Reubenesque woman, and the description really fit.  So, I'm just a smaller version of that now.

Since I still need all sorts of new sized clothing, I stopped into the thrift store.  I'm still adjusting to going to the correct location on the rack, but since now I know I fit into a 14, it's easier to start there.  Well,  I tried on several pairs of size 12 jeans (I still can't get over having a selection!) and found one that fit me well...so I bought my first pair of size 12 jeans as an adult!!

Last time I remember wearing a size 12 was literally in 6th grade....and that was 34 years ago! 

I have to keep reminding myself that not all sizes are created equally, just as when I was trying on larger sizes.  After wearing a couple of the other sized 14 jeans that I recently got, they aren't especially comfortable, the cut is wrong, so I'll trade them in and get something different.  That doesn't mean that size is wrong, it's the cut that's wrong, and as a seamstress, I truly know this!

The weird part? I am up 5 pounds over LIW, but I'm wearing a smaller size...huh??

Eating out during P3…and the consequences!

Weight: 162.5

Wow....do I feel stuffed!...and not really in a good way.  I'm still full from last night's dinner out!

I took my hubby to Tucanos, a Brazilian all-you-care-to-eat restaurant that is known for serving meat.  We've wanted to go since they opened, about 3 years ago.  We just never go out to eat...it's too expensive, too many food items contain ingredients I have reactions to, like canola oil, and too many calories.

So, I wanted to take him out for his birthday, and I thought it would be a great place because it would be Atkins friendly.  And it was....but I also had food not listed on the protocol.  That's OK, it was his birthday, I was willing to take the consequences.

Considering how much food I ate, I'm a little surprised that I'm only up 1.5 pounds.  Add that to the 1 pound from Friday, and, well, it starts adding up.  Today I am 3.5 pounds over LIW.  Not crazy about that, and certainly don't feel comfortable, but I think that's the whole point.

I'm not comfortable, and I'll do something about it.  At almost 163 pounds, rather than 183 pounds.

I did 34 minutes on the elliptical yesterday morning, and felt great about that.  If we hadn't gone out to dinner, I am pretty sure I would have been at 160 today.  I'll continue adding exercise in to my routine, but not today.  I have a huge quilt deadline looming, and my muscles are just a *tad* bit stiff from yesterday.  Better to take a planned approach to exercising than being overly exuberant and not creating a habit.

I still have 2 more weeks of P3 left, and I'm quite confident that I'll get my weight back to where it needs to be....but I'll have to avoid eating out again for awhile!

R3P3D6 - 161

Weight: 161

My hubby's birthday was yesterday, and he took me out for lunch at the Chinese buffet (I am taking him out for dinner tonight).  I LOVE the crab rangoons, and decided to have 2 of them.  Then I also cheated with Mandarin oranges...who'd have ever thought that oranges would be a "cheat"?...and they were the best thing I ate yesterday!!  Oh, they were wonderful!

Then I had some ice cream at the staff meeting, but didn't over-indulge, kept to one serving.

Then at dinner I had 2 cocktails.

I gained 1.5 pounds, and I can tell my tummy is still full and/or bloated. 

In "real life", aka P4, I think that this would sort itself out and I would go on my way.  Today, however:

• I will get on the elliptical (it just feels good to move!)
• I will drink a ton of water
• I will eat protein when I'm hungry (I can't go all day without eating as a regular steak day calls for).

Tonight I'm taking my hubby to a Brazilian meat place, so I'm hoping that will be OK, where they don't have a lot of sugar in the stuff they put on the meat, and that will serve as my “steak day” steak.

Oh, and the dog got me up at 4am, so I’m a bit short on sleep, too!  I have a quilt to get finished so I am up and may take a nap later on.

I'll let you know if I'm up again on Sunday...and crying!

R3P2D5–159.5

Weight: 159.5

Last night I was going to change clothes after work.  Not remembering the size, I thought I'd wear a pair of stretch jeans that I got a year ago that are pretty cute, but just a tad short in the length to wear with anything but tennis shoes.

To my surprise, they HUNG on me!!

Turns out that they were about 2 sizes larger than I am now!  And I had been "saving" them in my drawer.  They immediately went into the donation pile I've got started.  Sorta sorry to see them go, as they are nice and don't have any worn spots.  I figure that someone who needs a nice pair of pants will snatch them up!

Oh, yeah, so far I am only .5 pounds above my LIW.  Even though P3 eating is divine, I'm really wanting more variety in my food, so I'm starting to scour my low carb cookbooks.  Send me any suggestions you have!

R3P3D4–159.5

Weight: 159.5

So, wanna hear something really cool?  I had my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, and, among other things that I am still sorting out, he told me that I can go down on my thyroid medicine!!  I am on a very high dose, and now that I am 50 pounds lighter, I just don't need that much!

YAY!!...

I'm also a bit scared, though....the "what if" monster has come out of the scary monster closet.

"What if"....I have trouble resetting my metabolism on the lower dose of medicine?  I'm just now going into the lock-in phase?

"What if"....he's wrong?  I've been really cold lately and often feel like I did before, when my medicine wasn't at a high enough dose.

Those are some pretty big "what ifs"....but..."what if"....I was actually able to directly affect my health?  That's pretty powerful stuff!

Goes along with being scared of success, too, I suppose...and "being right"...and what that all entails....which is a blog for another time.